Friday, August 18, 2006

Ice cream

*Obscene content; +16
*The reader should better be acquainted with the cultural milieu of the Iranian lower-class.

-Bitch, take it...

And he handed her a cheap ice-cream. Being husband and wife for so long a time, it was so odd an incident; so odd of him. That's what came into her head.

-Thanks... hhh, I ... I don't know what to say... thanks...
-Take it bitch, take it. Just remember that I'm kind. If I hit you, If I punch you, If I whip you ,that's because I know it's good for you. I know you can never think what's good, what ain't. Just know that I'm kind...
-I know.
-That's good... I like to see you so timid... Now guess what, I'm taking you out tonight...
-ohhhh, really? It's been a long ti...
-Just shut your trap... Don't say a word, you know I don't like it this way...
-I know.
-Now come on, don't be so sluggish like a sick rat. Go on 'n put on your cover .Put it on GOOD? I don't want to see others look at you? You undrestand? Youknow what could happen to you?
-I'm out in the yard. Come on...

And he went out. He put on his ebony shoes to set his black pants and shirt. His face was all a round reservoir of black curly hair. Goddamn; even his eyes were black; as an ominous crow.

With great dignity he walked to his blue Nissan pick-up. Opened the door and got in. Pushed his hand on the horn, and shouted at his bitch to hurry.

-Come oooon... What'ya doing in there?!

He ceased shouting and looked at the windshield that was reflecting his black face; his crow like eyes in particular. He gazed at them;

What's she doing in there, what's she doing in there, what's sh... what a tough day it was; doesn't matter at least tomorrow is weekend. Damn I should tell her to keep the kids at their grandma's, they haven't been there for a while, besides I've got business to do at home tonight hahahaahaha!... Dirty bitch, God knows how much I hate her... Yeah, they haven't been there for a while... damn what's she doing in there!.... Hey I should call Esmael tonight, he must have brought those nu sets of knives, God knows how much I longed for them, I do need a nu set. These current sets are too old, get blunt soon... remember? The last time I tried to cut Hashem's ears... But there was just a scratch... shit... they called me a coward... I'll show'em who's the man... Yeah... Good gosh, tomorrow's friday... I can sleep good... I'll wake up at noon for lunch.... Hey don't I forget... I should better call Asghar tonight... We should gather tomorrow night... He promised to bring better beer and nu whores... I'll kill him if the doesn't... shhhhit, what's she doing in there.... I shouldn't have bought that ice-cream; sucking keeps her busy mwuhahaha...

And she closed the door and walked toward the car. She was 23, plain and worn out. Worn out of life; "Dirty life", she said to herself.

Dirty life, dirty life, shitty li.... I hate you, you alchy criminal. I have never hated anyone like you. You're the most pathetic husband. Curse on you mom! curse on your soul mom, It was you and that old paltry son of a bitch dad who made me marry this bushwacker. Now you've kicked the bucket and the old man's in jail. I hate you, I do hate you, you pathetic, you miserable scary scarecrow... I do feel great when I betray on you... I'm proud. You deserve it, you pathetic...

And she got into the car; silent as usual. She tried to focus on the rural music that was playing, so that to avoid the dreadful existence of her so called husband. She was filled with rage and hate; now for no reason at all.

The car is in the street now, it's thursday and another crowded night. He doesn't care. He always drives fast fast that all of a sudden he's about to crash into a little silver daewoo in which are two young college boys. They're so jokingly astonished at the scene;

-HAHAAHA Did you sssseeee that?!
-(laughing out loud)


Anonymous Ali said...

Ice Cream II :

Man is pretty happy with his life (what u and me think is a freaking cheap Routine).
He thinks he's got a wife that did not know what is love-making before marrying him.
He's got a wife that OBEYS,Cooks,Cleans,... and praise his hairy, STRONG husband.
she knows well who is the Power,who is the king in the house.
She is sure his man can beat everyone in a cruel fight. The man thinks: "My wife needed a man who could Protect her."
Who's better than me ? I know this rule good : Kill the bastard who look at your " NAMOOS " .
I don't believe a shit to buy my wife an Ice cream,but let's once pretend to be high class !

11:56 PM  
Anonymous Ali said...

Ice Cream II :

The woman is proud of her life.In their old neighborhood, her man was the No. 1 in every fight.
she's happy. her man has got a Car, a Work (a garage is sure better than a desk in an office),and power.
Her mom was always saying what else does a woman need in her life?
The woman thinks: " I have always hated these Punk bott boys with shaved faces that say "Miss You" to their girlfriends."
You know, by pretending he is The POWER in the house,it's so simple to force him buy me gold.
Her mom was always saying " a Woman must know how to treat her husband. it's Her art "

11:57 PM  
Blogger Hooman said...

Oh my furious :-o
What an inspiration!
About the language, I bet readers think you're black.

5:39 PM  

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