A Raw Youth

Being a raw youth and reading a novel called A Raw Youth written by a master of existentialism makes you realize an ultimate situation in which you feel the novel is about YOU and YOU are the protagonist .

Fyodor Dostoyevsky makes you undrestand that writing true literature is not all a matter of creative imagination but a matter of being a Super-human . He knows things which are impossible to find in books or to perceive through experience .

I'll read all his works before I die ...

Sewerage

I wake up in the morning with a ghastly clang . Angrily I look out the window and find out that they're digging the asphalt with those horrible digging machines . My dad tells me that the alley will be ripped open in a few days .

- For what ?!
- Sewerage ...
- C'mon ! We're living uptown . Haven't we got that ?!!
- No one does in this city son !
- Hey it's the year 2006 !
- I dunno ....
- ... ( silence ) ...

Oryx : Youknow what ?! You true are living in the postmodern Wasteland . I call it a "Shit Hole" !

The Lady of Shallot

Wow ! Suppose that you've got poetry exam in the morning . "'Tis midnight" and you're reviewing . Then you a get a message from a good friend and find out that one of tomorrow's poems is sung by your favorite singer and you haven't noticed that before ! Woohoo !

Loreena Mckennit / The Visit - 1992
The Lady of Shallot / Alfred ,Lord Tennyson

Lady Of Shallot , symbol of a Victorian poet, is a vigorous believer in "Art For Art's Sake" theory . She is kind of justified because she tries to escape from the corruption of the Victorian society . As the poem goes on she realizes the boringness and immorality of the theory and contacts the society . She justifies herself by claiming to be a Prophet figure , but the sad fact is that she's dying as a Poet . The corrupt society never did and never will undrestand her or any other poet .

Happy Birthday !

Today is a friend's birthday . A friend , who once , wanted to BE so much . We were classmates and roommates when I was a freshman in North . Then I was transfered to Shiraz and heard of him no more .

He was considered my best friend there , so was I his . I don't know why I decided to hear no more of him when I came back here . He was not my type of person , I dunno ... He liked me very much and now I regret why I didn't . Everyone had problems with the guy , so did I , but I kept on my sympathy ... Yeah , That could be a reason for liking somebody .

Today is his 22nd birthday and he could be celebrating that now , but a couple of months ago , on a saturday night at 10:00 he decided NOT TO BE ... Simply he dissolved some two hundred sedatives in water and drank it all . Now he IS NOT .

I know there must be a way up there to read blogs , so ...

Hey dude !

Happy Birthday :- ) . I have no idea how things are going up there , but I hope you're doin' fine . I'm doin' fine down here too . I was just remembering some good and bad memories today after I got the SMS from your bro' ...

Remember that lovely Oscar Wilde performance ? The Philippine prof loved it so much ! I remember ya spoke as GOD ! How ironic it seems now , aint it .

Remember the German old man ? :)) He liked you , but he was so relaxed when he heard 'bout your suicide .Goddamn German spirit !

Well . I still can't undrestand why you did that . I will ask you someday !

See ya late !
Amir .

Good boy !

A few changes to my routine ahead of a good summer ! I must change some bad habits and bring back some good ones which are so much required for what's gonna happen to me in the next three months .

I'm thoroughly satisfied with the start . Let's see how it goes ... :-)

Some pix ...

Some super high quality pix of Andrea Bocelli , a favorite tenor of mine :-)

Andrea and Julia Gertseva
Andrea's Amore ( Album Cover )
What a quality !
Woohoo ! He's popping out of the screen !

Darkling Plain

Never before like today have I enjoyed studying literature this much . To read all the poetry and prose . The authors and poets see life so beautifully . I envy them all , from the most optimist to the most pessimist and cynical . Seeing life is the object .

My soul is my best company ; musing and contemplating , listening to elaborate music , reading poetry and prose . What is the need for society ? Corruption of mind and behavior it is . I love my very own "Small Society" . I love my "Special loneliness" . Curse on all pretensions , social masks . Curse on all lowbrows .

It's so pleasing to find your very own thoughts and beliefs in a good poet's works :




Ah, love, let us be true
To one another! for the world, which seems
To lie before us like a land of dreams,
So various, so beautiful, so new,
Hath really neither joy, nor love, nor light,
Nor certitude, nor peace, nor help for pain;
And we are here as on a darkling plain
Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,
Where ignorant armies clash by night.

DOVER BEACH ,By Matthew Arnold ; 1867

Aged

I'm in a beautiful park . I've missed a good football match to come and study .

Sitting on a bench with my handouts. I've come with a good dude . He's famous for his liveliness , a funny cute pal . We're full of youth 'n energy . I look at the road infront of me . I see an old man walking toward us with his cane . bald 'n hunchback ;

-Can I sit here for a minute my sons ?
-Oh please ... ( we spare a place for him )

He's so tired , panting as a meek horse . Looking innocent just the way he did eighty years before in a cradle .

Now my friend's reading aloud but I don't listen . I'm looking at the old one instead . From time to time he looks at us from the corner of his eyes . So shrunk a face that I can't see his eyes clearly . But one thing I can see in 'em 'n that's Envy . I leave his eyes and look at his watch on his old vibrating hand . It's a nice watch . I look at mine which is a present from a deared one . I look at his . Different impressions ... I dunno ... ticking of mine ; passage of time toward the bright days , ticking of his ; passage of time toward darkness .

Is he happy ? I really wanna be when I'm his age .

Time

There's always an Idea about which I think when I'm using my time good : I'm losing this precious thing , moment by moment , second by second , tick by tuck ... And the disastrous thing is that when I am wasting it , the idea doesn't strike my mind !

Hard labour imprisonment

A future thing I know for sure : I'll never have children ! This branch of the family tree will come to an end . I don't give a damn ! What's it all about ? Ya know what I mean ?!

Cricket !

Did you know that the young clergies of Qum have got ten cricket teams ?!! A buddy of mine heard it on TV ...

Imagine their league ! ridiculous ! Hooman said it would be like Harry Potter !

This could be a great paparazzi favorite ! The league's leading scorer in his black GMC with Christina Aguilera ...

Trois couleurs

Great masterpiece by Krzysztof Kieslowski . Of course not my favorite trilogy , but one of the bests I've ever seen . The Polish is the absolute master of visual narration . Watch it and learn to live a better life ! I'm gonna rewatch !

Three One !

3-1 . A humiliating punishment for those who take everything for granted , for a sick organizing system , for a European man who lets himself treat like an Iranian pervert ,and for the beloved team-melli who can't break up with its long term lover .

This football thing is one of the only and rare opportunities to feel proud of this Iranian being ,and today it let me down again , Hey ya "Pride" thing ! Don't you knock at my door again ! They took you from me long ago and I don't need you anymore ...

World Cup Passion !

09. 06. 06 . Finally after four years . The date I've been waiting for . I've been a misfortunate fan for the past decade :-( . But this time ?! Seems to be different . The lions are gonna make it this time ! Rooney's gonna be fit . The dream starting eleven ! Cheer up England ! HIIIIIIHAAA ! :D



Look at the old captain ! Holding up the World Cup . I've taken this picture in one of his ecstatic daydreams .Poor godfather ! A bitter farewell to my beloved Team-Melli . Cheer up Branko ! , Cheer up Ardebil ! Cheer up Football Mafia !

Sheer Happiness !

So rare are the moments of sheer happiness .When they happen to be , one feels great !

A picky person likes everything in order . No problem at all , nothing to worry about , no damn thing for tomorrow . A good thursday , it's gonna be ! :-)

Crake : How the heck ya know that ?! Sometimes you seem to forget where you're living in! :

"Amir in Wasteland, a dystopia inspired by Alice in Wonderland" / Harvard Hoze Elmie Press, 1978 .

Oryx : Hey baby , it's gonna be a great day ! I know that ...

A Good Poet : - )

I like John Keats' view of life . Among the Romantics , he is my favorite ! He tries to forget his manly character and identify himself as a real poet (Keats The Poet ) . So he can see the true beauty of nature :

Away! Away ! for I will fly to thee,
Not charioted by Bacchus and his pards,
But on the viewless wings of Poesy .

Somewhere esle he looks at an imaginary urn and finds the most beautiful things on it .

O Attic shape ! Fair attitude ! with brede
Of marble men and maidens overwrought,
With forest branches and the trodden weed;
Thou silent form, dost tease us out of thought

He lived a very short life . Just twenty four , and imagine how greater he could be had he lived longer . Well , he could be as old as our gaga literature professor , if he was still alive ! :))

The Window ...

Just a few meters away . There's a house . A window in the second floor . Right in front of my room's big window . Opened a bit . I can smell death . There he lies . A man of forty , been in a coma since new year's eve . Conscious ?! Docs say no . How do they know ? Feeling high 'n floaty up there ... Ain't it consciousness ? I may like this state someday . Surely not now .

What does he feel ? What do I feel ? Am I grateful ? Are you ?

Plato & Crake

Seventeen years ago our world lost a true man . Every year at this very day the whole world mourns at his loss . He deserves all these ! He was an expert in philosphy , literature , religion , natural sciences , anything you could possibly imagine . His publications are more than a thousand volumes. Though he had two particular specialties : Politics and Grammar .

He spent half of his very missed life studying politics . He knew everything about "Revolutions" . He lived in Paris for a decade only to study the French Revolution . He knew everything about "Democracy" . He spent another decade in Oxford libraries to study the Greeks . He knew how to rule a a country because he spent another decade of his endear'd life studying the Romans .

He was one of the firsts to denounce the American Dream and the absolute first to declare publicly : America can't do a damn thing !

He was the only man who could predict the miserable outcome of the Soviet Union .

We do miss him , don't we ?

He used to say : Shoma ey javanane aziz , Yas be khod rah nadahid Hagh pirooz ast .

Posted by Crake

Satisfaction :-)

The third year just finished, no longer a junior . There's just a year left to that so-called Bachelor of Arts . It was a good semester , great courses , great profs though it could be much much better .

The fourth year will pass faster than the third . It won't be the full stop . The future remains mysterious . A fortnight ago It wasn't as mysterious as it is now . I changed my mind and I'm thoroughly satisfied . I'm so looking forward to this new mysterious future , even if it comes latter than the later . At any rate I won't lose anything . I'm gonna be my very own ideal. It was all a matter of a single moment . To go or stay .... to stay !

Conscience !

I hate this mental dryness :-s !!! damn ! I know why , I know why ...

I sinned . Devil breathed some negative energy down my soul ! He dried me . Now can't think as I used to couple of days ago .
But I'm gonna be allright ! :D Man has the habit of justifying his follies :"> It is already ! :

I need a summer off . I can earn more than twice as that somewhere else . Besides , I gotta study ! I wanna give me enough time so there wouldn't be no excuse , no regret .


But youknow what ? Corloenes don't have the habbit of being lied ... :))

-Crake : Hey be cool baby ! ( boasting ) Let the Gangsters miss ya !! - Mwwuuhahaahahahaahaha !! :D
-Oryx : Don't you listen to him ... You shouldn've done that /:) :-w L-(

Well ... Let's just forget that , and let's pray Kevin Spacey won't kill me with an axe ;) .